Proverbs 3 vs 5 & 6
About 6 years ago I started my
spiritual journey with God. It all started with my eldest Son. As a
toddler we struggled with the teachers
making their own diagnosis, saying his autistic, his ADHD, his ADD
whatever other name is out there he was labelled. As a parent it was so hard to
deal with these labels, it made me question my parenting skills, even my family
and my in-laws had their own labels.
I believe deep down in my
heart, there is nothing wrong with my
son. His just his own unique personality. My son took a long while speak. Due
all these labels, I took him to specialists ie ear specialists, MRI, you name
it, I took him and they could not find anything wrong him. Then one day I
decided emailed my Priest as this burden became so hard to carry on my own, I
wrote to him, saying, how overwhelming this journey has been and how it took an
emotional toil over my whole life, that it was affecting the way I was raising
my daughter which was younger than my son. She was still a baby herself. Most
of my attention was on my eldest boy.
My priest response to my email was
“ DO WHAT YOU MUST, AND TRUST GOD.”
Wow…in my mind I first thought, what simple words to tell an overwhelming
mother that is feeling so lost. I actually wanted my priest to tell me what to
do as I ran out of options. I read these words DO WHAT YOU MUST, AND TRUST GOD again
and again, suddenly I heard a voice
inside me saying this text that in Proverbs 3 vs 5 & 6 Trust in the LORD
with all your heart, and lean not on your own
understanding; 6in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths
straight.…then it hit me.. Now I
understood what this text means. All these years I heard this text, it always
stood out for me. But I did not understand it until that moment.
Trust in God- Surrender to him
completely give everything over. Lean on him – As your sole provider and do not
lean on your own understanding - do not trust on your opinion or anything other
people’s opinions. Let Go, Let God he will show you the way. Trust in him. Wow,
I never knew how powerful Trusting God is.
But…. It’s a process to start
Letting Go and Trusting God, it was not a quick fix. I had to work hard on
everything (eg: hurt, pain, etc) that was keeping me away from trusting God. I
realised something that was so profound Fear Separates us from Trusting God. My
whole life I was fearing, I wanted to take control, I wanted to make the
change. I wanted to do only what God can do. My spiritual eyes finally opened
and I saw how my inner life needed much work, I knew about God.. but now.. I
was really getting to know him. Since I started this journey of healing and
Letting Go piece by piece, I see how God’s hands is on my children’s life. My
son is 11 years old today. His doing so well, I do believe that whatever God has
in store for him, its Bigger than what I think it is.
Also most of all through this
experience, I have learnt each of us that has been given the privilege to be a
parent, I do believe that God has given you tools to rear your child. We must
not look on the outside. It starts within. Once your inner life is in order
everything else will fall into place like it should be. No matter what you are
going through. Trust God has equipped you for your journey, all you got to do
is believe and be Who God made you to be.
